They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
