Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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