Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
MIDGETS
????
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
