HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
