Where did you get a picture of my penis
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
