So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
