And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
