hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
