Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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