I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
