I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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