I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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