I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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