the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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