Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He better not be in your backpack
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
