you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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