A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
