somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
