Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
