Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
