You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
