I'm jealous of your bromance
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
