Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
