Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
