O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
