i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
