How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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