So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
