Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
