you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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