All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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