I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
