I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
