just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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