Pants 0. Shit 1.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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