Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
