I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
