Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
