She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize