then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
