just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
