Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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