Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
