Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I intend to get homeless drunk
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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