So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Randomize
