Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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