Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
