and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
