Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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