is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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