if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
