my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
