PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
