even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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