He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize